Hold Me (I Love You)
by Cain the Silver Sin
Summary: Sometimes we push away those that we love because we're afraid of hurting them or getting hurt ourselves. While some people are easy to keep at a distance, a certain blond cyborg is very much not.


**AN:** Written for Saigenos Week 2016 Day 7: Hurt/Comfort

* * *

"What have I done to deserve you?"

The question is sudden, uttered in an uncharacteristically quiet voice that has Genos almost snapping his pen in two due to slipping up on the pressure calibration of his fingers. He looks up and golden eyes lock onto the only other person in the room. The only noises to be heard being the quiet whirr of his fans and the backdrop of the soft pitter-patter of rain.  
Saitama is looking directly at him, face in its usual bland expression though this time there seems to be something else lying underneath.  
Genos' gaze slides over to Cactus-chan sitting on the window sill, silently watching the downpour outside.  
Maybe he meant to ask Cactus-chan? Surely he didn't mean-

"Genos."

Genos snaps his attention back to Saitama, the same forlorn expression still present on his face and now fiddling with a tool that has been left on the table.

"Saitama sensei, I am not sure I underst-"

"What exactly do you see... in me?"

The question weighs a metaphoric ton, but Genos has answered this before. Doesn't sensei remember?

"I see someone who is strong and dedicated to their cause. Someone who cares greatly about other people. Abridged version." He mutters the last last part. He could go on all day if sensei let him.

"That was exactly 20 words. Good job, Genos." Saitama murmurs, and Genos feels a tiny spark of happiness jolt his being before gloom settles in again.

Saitama sighs and falls backwards onto his futon from sitting position. Doesn't say anything more. Genos wonders if he should go back to his writing, leave sensei in peace. He's not a talkative man after all.  
But it doesn't feel right. Something about his silence is off tonight. He cannot think of anything more to say that won't be a messy ramble of adoration and worship.

"I am not really a good hero, Genos." Saitama mutters..

"You paint me to be some great guy who can save the world, like some kind of knight in a fairy tale, and yet, even when I badly fuck-up, you're… here. You're always here. One day you won't be, because you'll finally see that there is nothing truly great about me. I do not deserve you being so loyal to me."

"Sensei, that is not true!" Genos can hear himself yell, hands slamming down on the table, pressure calibrations luckily corrected from earlier.

"Genos… You believe I am strong and that you can uncover some great secret from me. The first part might be true, but I'll say it again; there are no secret to it. Strip my strength away from me and I am nothing."

"Sensei…"

"I'm bald, bland, stingy, emotionless… Surely you can find someone better to follow, someone who'll… not disappoint you so much."

"Heh. You're the great one here, Genos. The hero everyone wants. You're smart, handsome, dedicated. You have a future before you. You'll continue to do great things, become stronger, if you can find someone who can guide you better than I can-"

"SENSEI, SHUT UP!"

Saitama shuts his mouth immediately hearing his disciple raise his voice at him like that. He is actually a bit startled and to his credit, Genos seems just as startled as him. The cyborg manages to look sorta sheepish before he starts fretting.

"I-I think it's unfair that you have imposed a 20 word limit on me, yet just now before I stopped you you were at 62 words… Sorry, I went over the limit now too…" he rambles.

The hero hoists himself halfway up and leans back on his elbows, glancing over at the blond. He's awkwardly scratching the back of his head, not meeting Saitama's eyes. Saitama's heart gives off a tiny flutter and he swallows, refusing to acknowledge _that_ feeling right now.

"Genos."

The blond is still not meeting his eyes, having taken to stare down into the table, fiddling with his pen and looking really embarrassed with himself. If he had a human body he would probably be sporting a blush as well. Saitama tries not to think too hard about that either.

' _The 20 word limit, huh?'_

Something has shifted in him, and between them the past few weeks. Something intangible, translucent, something he can see and not see at the same time, and he is afraid. He'd have to be a complete idiot or blind not to see the way Genos is devoted to him. It's an unquestionable form of loyalty, a fierce dedication like nothing else. Genos _cares_ for him in a way no one else has done before and while it doesn't have a name (yet), it really scares him because he will inevitably fuck up one day and Genos will leave him and leave a void larger than anything comprehensible in Saitama's life. To think he of all people, would become so attached to someone so vastly different, so… perfect. It would be better if he left now, it would lessen the blow significantly. ...But he really doesn't want him to, if he for once can be a little bit selfish.

"Genos." He tries again, the blond now raising his eyes slightly.

' _Come on. Just say it.'_

' _SAY IT YOU IDIOT!_ '

"Genos I… I take it back. The 20 word limit is not in effect anymore. Please… Please talk to me!"

He cannot hear the edge of desperation to his own voice, but Genos can.  
Genos is on his feet immediately, pen clattering to the floor and journal left open on the table. In a matter of seconds Saitama has warm metal arms around his back as he is wrapped in a tight hug. That's when he becomes aware of the tears rolling down his own cheeks.

' _When did this happen?'_

He is sad, yet he isn't. The tears stem from some very complicated feelings that has been locked inside for way too long and also, relief. Relief that Genos is still here. That he never takes him up on the suggestion that he should just leave, find someone else to follow.  
The blonde pulls back from their hug and Saitama realizes he has been sitting seiza even now. A hand comes up and gently wipes the tears away. Human, so human. Genos is human. Everyone else always forgets, but Saitama never does.

"What have you done to deserve me? What have _I_ done to deserve _you_ …" the blond says softly.

"Saitama sensei. You might not think so yourself, but you hold so many amazing qualities to your person. You cannot deny it yourself, that you are both kind and caring. You help other people, be it by defeating monsters or helping cats down from trees. You treat those deserving of it with respect, you greatly value justice and you possess the most fierce form of dedication I have ever seen. You say that you are a hero just for fun, but being a hero is often very little fun, yet you continue doing it."

He pauses, eyes downcast and he smiles… shyly?

"You gave me a new purpose in life. Another purpose besides avenging my family… I've come to see that now, that the path I have been on has been toxic. For 4 years I have been wandering, consumed with my own hate and need to destroy the mad cyborg. Ready to throw away my life at a moment's notice should it mean that I'd take something down with me. Meeting you- changed that. That's where your true power lies, the ability to give a purpose to someone who is lost…"

His head dips down in a deep bow before Saitama. It feels both right and wrong at the same time. Mostly wrong, he doesn't want Genos to sit seiza for him or bow, he wants him to-

"Saitama sensei, I will never be able to repay you for what you've done for me."

His head is spinning and his heart is slamming against his ribcage as he leans forward and gently puts his hands to Genos' face, tilting it upwards. Their eyes meet and the blond is looking at him with a confused expression.

' _Do it.'_

"Genos…" Saitama whispers, breath ghosting over the cyborg's lips, so close to his.

If his ears isn't playing tricks on him, he swears he could hear the tiniest of whimpers coming from the blond. Maybe he should ask for permission first. Kissing someone out of the blue isn't exactly-

"Sai...tama…"

The uttering of his name without an honorific is what does him in. If there was light, fluttery butterflies in his stomach before, they have mutated into monstrous beings now.  
He only meant to give him a light peck, test the waters, but hearing his name like that made it impossible. He captures the blond's lips in a full on kiss… and finds him kissing back.  
There's a myriad of feelings converging inside of the hero, but he squashes down every single one that doesn't have to do with Genos at the moment.  
Genos' lips is soft, warm...wet. _Oh_.  
He isn't sure what he thought kissing Genos would feel like. All he knows is that he is _not_ disappointed.

He gently lowers them down on the futon, never letting his hands stray from Genos' cheeks. Lying sideways just looking and getting lost in the blond's eyes.  
They inch closer again to let lips meet, lighter and softer this time. Genos' hands finding their way to Saitama's hips, pulling a short breath from his mouth. Genos smiles against his lips. There's a warm glow forming in Saitama's stomach, taking over the spot where the mutated butterflies rampaged minutes ago.  
The feeling is mostly foreign, but it's not unwelcome, at all. Genos is the cause, Genos is… his?  
As they pull back slightly, Saitama can see the relaxed, yet slightly shy face of his disciple. He always thought Genos was handsome, but there was something truly beautiful about seeing him up this close.

"Where do we go from here?"

The question is spoken so softly, almost as if the whole situation is an illusion threatening to break should anyone speak any louder. ' _I wouldn't give this up for the whole world.'_  
He still has his hand ghosting over Genos' cheek. He gives him an ever so gentle, tiny smile.

"Wherever you want to go."

It's all so delicate, just like human nature sometimes. The blond's head nestle in the crook of his neck and yet another new and pleasant feeling washes over Saitama; contentment. Honest, pure contentment.

' _Maybe I could get used to this?'_

After a few minutes he can hear the whirr of fans going into sleep mode as Genos is dozing off. He smiles, but it falters as he can feel nature calling. ' _Goddamnit.'_.  
It proved a challenge, but Saitama manages to extricate Genos from him without waking the other, murmuring something about coming right back.  
As he passes the little kitchen table he can see the abandoned journal of Genos lying open, intricate lines covering the two pages it's opened on. His first thought is to leave it alone as snooping around in other people's business is not a nice thing to do, until his eyes catch a drawing looking very much like himself.  
He squats down to look at the pages- depicting himself, Genos and no more than 8 little guys looking very much like chibi versions of Genos.

' _Heh, it's almost like he made us up into a family…'_

The thought barely has time to form in his head before realization crashes down and a furious blush paints his face. He scrambles into the bathroom, back against the door and breath coming in short puffs.  
But as he catches himself in the mirror, he just has to laugh. He feels like an idiot, but a happy idiot. This particular day sure had been a roller coaster of emotions, and he is still getting used to feeling so many things all at once. He finishes up and gets back to the futons. Nestling himself close to the slumbering cyborg and throwing his heart blanket over them

"Good night, Genos. Thank you."


End file.
